This is the C&P page; or more specifically, the Creeps and Peeps page (As I hate the word “peeps,” I also considered “Creeoples and Peoples” but it turns out that I hate the faux word “Creeoples” even more).  This page shall be used to introduce you to some of the wonderful sentient things we encounter along the way (bear in mind that a large portion of this trek will take us through Texas so this page should flourish nicely).  For added amusement, see if you can identify the category that each sentient being falls into just from the given photos!

Billboards and Shops of Glee:

As it is exceedingly difficult to snag photos of people without their consent, I have settled for mostly pictures of the creepy (and at times downright sad) locales along the way.  I will apologize in advance for the  sketchy photos; it’s more difficult than one might think to snap photos from a moving vehicle.  What follows are some of the gems seen on the drive from Florida to New Mexico.

"Best Burger?" I think not, indeed.

So this place went whooshing by somewhere in the heart of Louisiana. I’m unsure if they were just arrogant about the quality of their meat pies or if they were making a weak attempt at tapping into the “Best Buy” branding motif.  In either case, this is a FAIL.  Not only would I not eat here–and no, not because it’s ‘rural’ as I do enjoy little hole in the wall restaurants over many chains– but, given the distressingly backwoods appearance denoting our presence in the hinterland,  I would also make an effort to go at least another 50 miles before I stopped anywhere. (Hell, this place probably qualifies as one where dysentery is a given.)

I'm going to call shenanigans on this one too..

To compliment our “Best Burger,” we’ve also got “The Good Chicken.” (Is this some sort of lame rip off of “The God Father?”) Curious use of ‘The” here; am I to believe that this is indeed not a restaurant but rather the home of THE one and only ‘Good’ chicken?  Given the scenery I’d doubt that greatly, but it does seem more plausible than this actually being a place people frequent for sustenance.  And, even if it is a restaurant, why only “Good” chicken? I suspect an entrepreneurial young person could come in and open up “The GREAT Chicken” and shut this place right down (or we could just let the health inspectors do that).

"Exciting"? Really? Doubtful.

This was, not surprisingly, taken in Texas, where “everything’s bigger” (presumably including your girth).  This appears to me to be a time when the adjective, “exciting” is being grievously applied, especially given that I’m unsure what exactly would qualify as “exciting”about a buffet. “Well looooook!  They got tater tots AND curly fries! We’re eatin’ mighty fine tonight!”  Or, perhaps the excitement comes from playing “Guess what the giblet actually is.”  It does, after all, imply that the menu changes daily, which I personally attribute to the menagerie of critters crossing the highway there on a daily basis.

Texas Hooker?

Texas again.  Perhaps she knows what’s so exciting about that last place.  SHe does, after all, appear to be holding a tray of food stuffs.  Ah well, you know what they say about Texas… (Yes, you know you wanna say it.)

Subliminal messages here?

Upon first glance this sign irritates me with its semi-misleading headline regarding commitment.  I mean hell, when I first saw it I thought it was some extremist group bashing relationships.  Then I realized that it was just a weak marketing ploy.  This sign seems like an awkward attempt at using the cliched bashing of commitment and/or marriage as a way to lure in potential customers.  This might work, but really, you have to ask yourself what market this advertisement is aiming at?  Those bitter on humanity and relationship types?  I’m sure they have an  enormous need for a comprehensive cell phone package to keep up with their numerous friends and loved ones.  They’re certainly a more fruitful market than those sappy lovers who send endless text messages and spend hours on the phone, or those tweens whose parents pay their phone bill and rack up minutes obliviously. Yes, let’s take a quasi-dig at commitment as our one redeeming feature and see how that sells; true brilliance in the making.  I’m sure they’ll be right on Verizon’s heels in no time.

For all those old farts who just have too much to do...

Now you can fit your Bingo game in between your beauty shop visit and your daily visit to the deli to buy 6 slices of lunchmeat for the day.

  1. Katie
    June 18, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    lol, Morgane all of your comments make me laugh so hard- hope you have a fabulous trip and hope to read more updates soon : )

  2. Stephanie
    June 18, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    You must have encounterted some wonderful people at random gas stations since I know how much you throughly enjoying the quest for finding the most “amazing” hodgy mart restroom in the US. Palatka is my winner so far, nothing like using human excrement to decorate otherwise dull looking toilet paper rolls. I find it even more amusing that this was done in an unairconditioned, yet still beautiful bathroom.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: